Thursday, January 1, 2009

Observations About Neighbors -- Part 2

My neighbors are, and for the most part, have always been wonderful people. We live in a neighborhood that has been fairly 'stable' for the 33 years we have lived here, since we built our home in 1975. It is the only home that Paula and I have ever lived in since we married in August of 1972. Most of our neighbors have been here for most of that time. I think, though, that we may be the 'oldest residents' of our neighborhood, just east of the OC campus.

The family to the south of us (where Neil and Joni now live) moved next door to us back in the late '70's, right after Gena was born. They were nice neighbors. They had three sons, and moved here from Michigan. The husband worked at an automotive assembly plant and his wife was a Registered Nurse. They worked hard and took care of their property and were good neighbors. We tried to interest them in Jesus Christ, but they, while polite, were not interested. I'll come back to their story in a few minutes...

Another neighbor, who lived across the street from us (and still lives there, by the way), is a member at Memorial Road. He and his wife, Shirley, moved here from a much smaller community south and east of the OKC area where they had raised their kids. Leon and Shirley Eldridge were such sweet neighbors, and Paula and I really enjoyed getting to know them. We had the Lord as a 'common interest,' and, over time, got acquainted with their two beautiful daughters, Crystal (Loden) and Jeanette (Zeller). This family had it all together, and they all loved the Lord. They are all wonderful people!

As sometimes happens in life, tragedy befell both of the families mentioned above. Our next door neighbor found out she had inoperable lung cancer, and Shirley found out that she had malignant melanoma. The way that these two women dealt with the realities of their condition, and the way they faced the future, was dramatically different, and this difference is the reason for this posting on my blog.

When the next door neighbor found out that she had inoperable lung cancer, she was, of course, shocked. She had never smoked, but she was a nurse, and worked in an area hospital where smoking occurred in the 'break room' that medical personnel frequented. She immediately launched into an aggressive program, with her doctors, trying to find some treatment -- some cure. She went to and consulted with, doctors all over the U.S. She tried 'alternative treatments'...including shark cartilage, and other potions, in a desperate effort to battle the cancer (I would do the same, I imagine). Nothing helped. She deteriorated steadily. While maintaining a cheery facade, she was clearly distraught. Toward the end of her life, she was panicky, and clearly beside herself with anxiety. With no belief in God or the hereafter, she faced THE END of her existence, in her mind. She told me one day, in a more or less joking way, that she had asked four people to pray for her...a protestant minister, a Jewish rabbi, a Catholic priest and an atheist(??!!!). In disbelief, and saddened by her admission of this -- (in a joking sort of way, as if this was somehow funny)-- I asked her why she had done this. Her answer me shocked me to the core, as she told me: "I WANTED TO COVER ALL MY BASES!" She still had no interest in a relationship with God, but, in an attempt to 'leave no stone unturned', she threw this out, in an off-hand way, as one more straw at which she was grasping, as she approached the end of her life. I was asked to deliver the eulogy at her funeral, and I did -- telling the assembled friends and co-workers of this nice lady, mother, wife and neighbor-- the things about her that were commendable, and
what a nice neighbor she had been. I was aware of people who knew her as a nurse, and they all had wonderful things to say about her. I talked about her, what she was like, as a neighbor -- always doing nice things for people around her. I shared with the audience, stories of Brenda's work in her yard, and how it appeared that she had planted, in her yard, one of everything God had created! I could not, however, say anything to ease the distress her family and friends, because neither she, nor her husband, or any of their children had (or have now), any relationship with Jesus Christ. The eulogy was hard to deliver, for there was nothing of lasting relevance that I could say. No hope of a continued life beyond this earthly life. My words sounded hollow to me, and I left the lecturn sad and unsettled.

My sweet neighbor across the street -- Shirley Eldridge -- fought valiantly as well, but, as she approached the end of her life, she, with a smile told my wife, Paula: "I'm ready to meet the Lord -- He can beam me up right now!" Shirley calmly approached the end of life with peace in her heart - with equanimity, with the assurance that only those who believe in Jesus Christ can understand. Leon and his daughters, Crystal and Jeanette and their spouses and children -- and a vast number of friends and Christians who knew Shirley and her family, ultimately lost Shirley. I was asked by the family to deliver the eulogy, and I was honored to have that privilege. It was a joy to tell a little about this wonderful woman, who graced this world with her life, and influenced so many for Christ as she raised two wonderfully sweet girls, and did so much for so many people during her life. The crowd of people at her funeral service were saddened by the loss of this beautiful lady -- their loss at not seeing her again in this life -- but there was a sustained happiness of those in attendance, at the realization that this fine woman was not dead, but will live forever!...in the eternal presence of God Almighty! I left the pulpit at the Edmond church of Christ, and, although sad over the loss of Shirley, I was simultaneously happy that her struggle was over and life for Shirley would continue -- in another place reserved for those who die in the Lord.

As we enter a new year, full of hope and promise, I think of New Beginnings...and, as I think of New Beginnings, I can't help but to once again, in my mind, re-live the stories of these two very nice women, and be impacted all over again at the contrast between their respective lives....one that is bleak and a heart-breaker, and the other-- a wonderful life, now made perfect through Christ-- a soul that will live for eternity in the presence of our majesstic God!

Thank you for allowing me to share this story with you. I pray that all of you will enjoy a wonderful New Year, basking in the light of the love of the Lord!

Happy New Year!

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Gene,
It was nice to read that post. I lived with the Zeller's the summer of 93, during the time that Shirley was battling cancer, although I didn't get to know her. Now I know a little more about her. Thank you.

Michelle said...

Gene,
Thanks for the feedback. As much as I like the Red Cup, I always like to know if there are others similar to it? Do you know of any? I so wish Edmond had such a place. I so wish I had the money to open one :) I grew up in the Portland area and these little eclectic places were everywhere.

As far as the Celiac goes, I know who you are talking about at MRCC. I just haven't had the opportunity to talk to them yet. Thanks for the tip. Today I hope to finish my grocery list for the week, it has taken me a few hours to do...

O, I enjoy Gena's music as well. I remember when she first started at OC, I had to lift my jaw off the floor when she played Devil Went Down to GA.

Well, I'm off to a baby shower!

Gene said...

Michelle,

Nice to hear from you! I DO know of some other places, but they are even further away than Red Cup. I will try to remember their names and post them for you. For a place you can go early in the day, there's always the Classen Grill. It has been there forever, it seems. I sometimes go there to meet a friend for breakfast-- Joy, who was in my youth group at Wilshire back in the '70's, who is now a retired police officer. She has remained a close friend, and we get together from time to time to stay in touch. Breakfast there is good and does not have the plastic, overdone, 'fast-paced-loud-and-noisy-eat-your-meal-quickly-and-get-out-of-here-in-a-hurry-I-need-your-table!' chain-restaurant feel. You would like it, I think.

Speaking of Red Cup, Gena and her little band, 'The Stringents', play at Red Cup a few times a year, in the evenings. It's always fun, and we never miss going there when they're playing. Same with The Blue Door, down in the city, near OCU...we go there sometimes, for some great music. No food or drinks or served...it's just music. We go there to hear the Stringents -- a couple of times each year, esp. during the Christmas season. Great fun! At Christmas, the music is geared for kids, and it's great fun! Gena and her group are great entertainers!

Enjoy your day!

The Shoemakes said...

You know, I haven't thought about that in years! It always saddens me to hear people who don't know God talking about someone they love who is close to the end, with comments like..."Surely he'll go to Heaven, he's always been such a nice guy!" There's such a lack of understanding, and uncertainty in their conversations. I've never lost anyone close to me who caused me to question their fate. Both Jonathan Bragg and Adam Langford were unusual to say the least. They were unapologetic Christians everywhere they went. Even when it wasn't 'popular.' I KNOW they went to Heaven, because they were always such nice guys. 'Nice guys' because they KNEW by faith they were saved and the Spirit was constantly pouring out of them as they tried to lead others to Christ!

Thank you for this posting Dad! Stories like this help me keep my priorities straight, and my eye on the prize!

Love you,

Jeff

Gene said...

Thanks, Jeff, for what you shared. You have known a lot of wonderful people in your life, and although we have lost (for now) two of those who were closest to you, it IS comforting to know where they are --- those guys lived with an assurance of their salvation, and they loved the Lord, as do you! Jonathan and Adam both enriched our lives immeasurably, and we were privileged to have known them...and their families.

I love you, Jeff!

Dad